Tuesday, 11 December 2012

What's your story?

Amanda Marshall came out with this song back in the day and like all fads go, it's now a thing of the past, but her message is eternal. 

Everybody has a story. From Amanda Todd who was bullied to death to our co-workers and fellow bus passengers whom we say hi to every morning. Often we walk by people who have a smile on their face but the world on their shoulders. On many occasions I've had moments where I get completely annoyed or angry at somebody, only to realize that I was the douchbag for not questioning why they conducted themselves in a certain way, I find it easier to have compassion when I have background as to why people act a certain way, but life is not that easy, people will not always divulge their life story, they might never tell you what you need to hear to understand their actions.  All you can do is learn to be compassionate and realize that this person once was a kid, who ran around with no care in the world, who was loved and not jaded, who wanted to be somebody in this big bad ass world and somewhere along the way,  life threw them a massive wrench to the face. All you can do is be "that person" who will show them a smile instead a snarl. 

I remember being very young and watching a car speed by us. My father looks to me and says, you never know, maybe he is rushing home to his sick wife. Its' moments like those that shape the rest of you life. We can get angry at the traffic, we can get angry because somebody stole our brand new book bag or we can understand and move on. I remember the time I had my first big paycheck, with that I borrowed my sisters bag and bought a brand new walkman. I was in high school at the time and I went to the gym with my parents every morning. One morning I left my bag for 2 minutes while I spoke with my father in the weight room. When I returned to the dressing room everything was gone. I was so upset. My father then told me, feel sad for the person who took your bag, can you imagine the life they must lead to feel the need to steal your bag and walkman? I always appreciate the way my parents looked at a situation. In the end we choose the outcome based on our actions. I went back to the gym after that episode and continued to go years after that. I never forgot that moment where I lost my bag, but most importantly I was not angry with that person, I felt compassion and sadness....and I never left my bag unattended again. 

We learn from a young age not to judge a book by it's cover but then society conditions us to do the opposite. If you wear certain clothe, drive a certain car, if you live in this area, hang out with these people..blah blah blah BLAH! We make fun of the people who do not fit the norms of society. While we fill our boots with laughter at the expense of others what did we get out of it? Have we become better people  for laughing at the person who might have used their last dollar to buy a t-shirt from value village? Have we become better people for making fun of the person all day at school who goes home to get abused by the people who are suppose to love and protect them? We live for the moment and remove the filter for our own enjoyment not realizing that the person we just made fun of went home and cried all night. I understand it's a game of survival and we are competitive by nature....maybe the person who is doing all the mocking is like this because they hate themselves and the only way to feel better is to bring down others..misery does love company after all. 

This post is about my observations in life. In trying to understand myself I've flipped through my repertoire of memories and adventures. We all have moments that define who we are. I was once a young girl with lots of dreams and passion. I am now a woman trying to figure out where I belong in this world. What are my goals in life, and how do I get there. 

1 comment:

  1. So fortunate of you to spend time with your father. I am so happy for you, your father has such amazing insights in the ways of the world and the people in it.Knowing your father is important as it helps you to understand yourself.I took a course Telling our stories living our lives in my grad studies and learnt so much about my self as I WAS ABLE TO EXPLORE MY ROOTS.It is amazing how my parents and grandparents are rooted in my life. I know these people before I KNOW ANY ONE ELSE IN THE WORLD.I trust them and they trust me, they are my very core and because I KNOW THIS I am very generous with the people I LOVE I do not smother and have always help to make the people I LOVE AND THOSE AROUND ME COMFORTABLE and yes I give them their space. I hope this blog brings you to a space where you have confidence in self and it is doing so in the stories you tell........